The end of the world is nigh: Oct. 21
On May 21, from what we hear, a small number of Christians will disappear and God will rock the rest of us with earthquakes, plague, asteroids, and all manner of suffering. On Oct. 21, after five months of torture, the universe will cease to exist. This is obviously disconcerting news, and we thought we'd lend a hand.
Seattle Atheists are here to help!
While the world is tortured in this terrible Apocalypse, who better to help the world than atheists? Elite squads of godless heathens, who already live all over the Puget Sound, will help bring people out of the rubble and rebuild their lives. The Post-Apocalyptic Pony Express will help restore communication service by carrying letters across the tattered remains of civilization, giving humanity hope with the sight of the cutest ponies money can buy.
Donate and help
If it doesn't happen ...
Of course, it's always possible that these religious zealots are wasting enormous amounts of money, time and life with a gigantic fearmongering campaign. It's happened before. On the off chance that they are completely wrong, Jesus doesn't come back, and life continues as normal, we will do our part to help the next generation avoid getting into this heartbreaking situation themselves.
On Oct. 22, Camp Quest will get the proceeds.
If there is a universe left after all this, Camp Quest NorthWest, which teaches children critical thinking and science, will receive a check. Why, you ask? Because when children know how to think for themselves, they don't get taken in by every terrible idea that comes across their desk.
Seattle Atheists is a non-profit, so donations are tax-deductible. Don't worry: we'll be good stewards of the money, and refrain from buying first aid kits, ropes and ponies until we're sure.
Seattle Atheists Represent!
If you're a Puget Sound area atheist (or atheist-friendly) and would like to find out about Seattle Atheists events and support more campaigns like this, check out our website and become a member!